Saturday, July 2, 2011

Saturday 02 Jul 11

Good morning,

I am finding it not so easy to start over again.  I wish there was a club or some kind of organization for singles to meet and do fun things together.  They have something like that in the DC area (at least that is what I have been told) but that is to far away for me.  I wouldn't even know how to start something like that but I just wish I could find someone who would like to have fun doing simple things in life.  Taking day trips around VA/PA or MD.  There is so much history in this area. 

I reactivated my match.com and my exhusband is going to help me get my profile to where I don't sound like a boring person.  I know he is someone who won't steer me in the wrong direction.  It feels so good to be his friend.  Not many ex's can say that.  We where young when we got married and we had our struggles and heartaches but we have learned from our mistakes.  We had a lot of good years together and I hope that when/if I find a man or he finds me that he will not feel threaten by this. Once my membership is up I will not sign up again unless they give me time for free. 

I read my friend Bruce Potts poems and I am like wow. He writes with such passion.  I try to visualize the characters.  I am also working on reading more.  I like to read but haven't taken the time to do.  OK I listen to music too much but WINC FM has helped fill the lonely days I have.  I won't change stations. I miss Jeff Adams being a DJ but Cindy McGuire is doing an awesome job and I am happy for him that he had this great opportunity.  Do I feel honored that he friended me.  Yes I am.  Did I have a crush on him.  Yes I did and was I jealous he has a girlfriend.  Yes but happy for him.  They look good together and I don't think he and I would have the chemistry two people need.

Happy 4th of July weekend.  Stay safe and God Bless You and God Bless America.

Linda
No quote for today. I can't decide on one that strikes the mood.  :) and well I love all the songs on WINC and posted one of FB and will post it on here too.  I apologize if I posted this before. It is my ringtone and this song makes me happy and think of my mission trip to Moss Point MS 1.5 years after Hurricane Katrina.  Besides the birth of my children one of the best weeks spent in my life and was honored to go with my daughter Heather and others from JMU.  It felt good to help someone in need and made me realize how lucky I am.  Best week of vacation I ever took (and it was the only week I got).

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Day 18 14 Jun 11

Good morning,

Well I did it. I signed up for Match.com.  So far I have been winked at from men from FL, GA, KY, TX, IL, NY, and OH.  I can not and will not date someone that far away.  I will not get discourage but a guy telling me he will relocate and doesn't even know me.  I am not stupid and won't fall for that line again.  I have blocked some profiles.  I may not find anyone but will give it this one more time.  I won't settle for second best.  I deserve the best and if he is out there he will find me and if not I am learning to be happy with just me.  I am a good person and will treat him with love and respect but I expect the same back.  It has to be 50-50.  I am not looking for someone to pay my bills.  I am capable of that and I will not pay his bills either.  I will not let them know where I work.  For some reason some guys think that I make a lot of money or have access to the best doctors cause of where I work.  They just think I do accounting and I will not let them know where I work unless I think it is for  real.  I am going to continue to hold my head up high.  I may fall sometimes and get down and feel like what's the use but when I get like that, I look at my kids pictures and realize how truly blessed I am.  They are all healthy and make me proud of what they have accomplished and what they will accomplished in their lives.  Not many families can say that all of their kids have gone to college.  I will have 2 teachers and 2 engineers once Amanda and Kevin finish.  Amanda is on the last leg.  She will student teach this fall and finish her classes for her masters.  Did I mention how proud I am of each of my children.  They are the light of my LIFE and when one is hurting or sad so am I.  I miss having Heather close by. She has been my rock and gave me the courage to move on with my LIFE.  I miss having all my kids close by but Life moves on.  I don't like parents who have their favorites and they  make it obvious.  If anyone thinks I favor any of my kids then they don't know me very well.  I may at one time talk about one more then another but that is because they are doing something special at the time.  I talk about all my kids all the time.  I work with 2 ladies that have not had children.  I can tell they would have been good mothers but it wasn't in the cards for them but they are happy with their lives.  I couldn't imagine not having kids.

God bless you and have a great day!
Linda

Quote of the day "A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be." Albert Einstein

I picked lady gaga cause I love her songs and would love to meet her if I had a pick of someone to meet.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Day 17 13 Jun 11

Good afternoon,

The trip to Philadelphia was a success.  Got Kevin all moved in. The trip up and back with his dad was good.  It felt good to be able to ride up and back with him and not feel like I wanted to be anywhere but there.  This am I was busy posting pics and spending sometime with one of my sisters and her family before she left for NC. The next 2 weeks it will just be me and Oreo and Cindy Lou.  I am looking forward to some time to myself.  Well that is all I have for today. 

Peace today and always!
Linda

Quote of the day "A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?" Albert Einstein

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Day 16 12 Jun 11

Good morning,

I  am looking forward to the trip to Philadelphia today with Kevin, his girlfriend Katie and his dad.  I will miss him but what an awesome opportunity he has.  The next 2 weeks will be good for me cause my dad will be at my brother's house in Ohio and Kevin will be in Phillie and I will have the house to myself.  I need to look at this has a time to find me and get some things done around here.  I deserve to smile and be happy.  Leona Lewis is playing "Better In time."  Everyone deserves to smile and be happy.  Only me can make me happy and I thought I had to have  man in my life to be complete but I know I don't.  I need to realize it is better to be alone then to be with someone who only wants you part of the time. I need time and attention and if someone out there is made to be with me then God will have to show me the way.  I realize I can't rush it.  I realize I also  fall in love easy but have learned that I need to just take time and enjoy life.  The fact that I can now ride places with my exhusband and not feel like running away when he is near is great progress for me.  He is a good person, a great father and someone I know I can trust and depend on to be there for me if needed.  No one can have to many friends but how many of them can you really depend on to be there if needed.  Facebook has been good for me to find past friends and make new friends. I am going to keep my head held high and be the best that I can be and realize that even though I have my share of mistakes that so has everyone out there.  No one is perfect and everyone has drama in their life.  If someone can claim that they have led a perfect life with no regrets or mistakes then send them my way so I can bow down to them.  I just had a nice conversation with my daughter Heather and she told me I will be a great catch and I think I may need to do a paid dating site and to not rush it. 
Blessings,

Linda

Funny Quote of the day "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself."  Josh Billings

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Day 15 - 11 Jun 11

Good morning,

Going to have a good day with family.  I have lots to do so  I am going to make short and sweet.  I need to keep searching for happiness. I need to forgive and move on.  I am really trying but I don't think they realize how much that they hurt me.  I know I was the one to allow it to happen and have no one but myself to blame for it.  I hope others out there don't fall like I have but I have a feeling there are more out there like me. I may add later today but right now I am going to help my daughter prepare food for today. 

V/R,
Linda

Video - This song is upbeat and happy and makes me want to dance.  I would like to find a man that wants to take me dancing. Doesn't have to be every week but just once in a while.  It is hard to find one  that wants to do that. 

Quote of the day "You cannot do only one thing." Garrett Hardin

Friday, June 10, 2011

Day 14 - 10 Jun 11

Good morning,

Day off and lots to do to get ready for tomorrow but I am glad to be busy.  It helps me not to be lonely.  My biggest problem is I don't know how to relax. I feel that I am being lazy if I decide to sleep in or not clean the house.  I decided I am burned out on housework.  I found a solution to this.  I hired my youngest daughter Amanda to clean for my dad and I.  She is someone I can trust and depend on.  She needs some extra money to help her out this summer.  She works for the Warren Co Park and Recs but due to her summer college schedule they aren't giving her very many hours.  It is a win win for both of us. I hope it doesn't sound bad that I don't like to clean.  I think the biggest problem I have is that it isn't necessarily that I don't like to clean I think it is because it isn't my house.  That may sound bad and I am sorry.  I just never thought I would end back her at my parents house once I moved out and got married in 1980.  I am grateful that they took my 2 youngest and me in 3 years ago.  I see alot of family members having to live together to make ends meet.  I think it is great.  I don't like when I want to run away from here.  My parents have been good to me and  I am thankful that I had them to fall back on.  When Henry and I got married we both thought it was forver.  Nothing last forever and we both made our share of mistakes.  Who hasn't.  Name one person who has not done something that later regreted I will bow down to them. 

One thing I know is that I am so glad that Henry's health is better.  No we can never get back together. We are good friends and that is all I would ever want.  I know me. If we would get back together I would try to mother him again.  I don't want that. I want a relationship that I can be a girlfriend and maybe eventually a wife but I don't want to be a mother. 

Trust is something I am working on.  I have had my kindness taken advantage off.  I have learned the hard way and now I have walls built up around me and feel that everyone is out to take advantage of me.  I give to charities but will not give to a man again.  I do believe in 50-50  but when you find yourself  paying more then half then that is when it is time to get out.  People tell me that there is someone out there for me. It is hard to hear this from people that have love in their life.  I don't mind hearing it from people like me that are single.  I know people mean well but they aren't helping me when they do this.  I don't like being single but I will hold my head up.  Do the best that I can do everyday that I wake up.  Realize that life isn't always fair and it is going to take someone special to capture my heart.  I have learned the lines of guys that are only after making themselves happy.  No bites yet on Plenty of Fish. I just wish i knew what my competition is.  I may have to redo my profile.  I will work on that but going to just enjoy me and learn to love me.    I really don't want to do a paid dating site but may do again but only after I know that Kevin and Amanda's financial aid this year is covered. 

Quote of the day "Change your thoughts and you change your world." -- Norman Vincent Peale

John Mayer "Waiting on the World to Change" this was my first ringtone.  I miss having it.

Have a great day.

Linda

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Day 13 - 09 Jun 11

Good morning,

I overslept.  I have a feelin' it is going to be one of those days but I am going to work on making it a good day.  I just need to think of happy thoughts and laugh & smile when I just feel like crying.  I know that some people have more cash, are prettier, younger, have a big house and fancy car and a man/woman to love them and I need to realize that just because I don't doesn't mean I am a loser.  I am someone.  I am a good person, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend to all, and hard worker.  I am Miss Independent.  Maybe the love bug will find me one day but for now I need to learn that being single isn't a disease. Sometimes it is a cure.  I want to be in a  relationship that I feel wanted and needed and vice versus.  I can't make him feel the same way unless that is what he wants.  Well have a good day.  Thank you for reading.

Linda

Quote of the day: "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." Mark Twain