Day 4 01 Jun 11

Good morning,

Today is my mom's birthday and the first in heaven.  I am trying not to cry.  I am trying to move on from the past.  Not all of it because I have a lot of great memories but just the bad.  Why do bad things happen to good people.  I am not talking just about me but a lot of people out there.  I think I am going to add to my blog a quote each day.  I am going to keep this short today because I don't want to be late for work.

Quote of the day - "Friendship with ones self is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world."  Eleanor Roosevelt

Today I will be my best friend, cause best friends you can count on.  I have found there are people out there that will take advantage of your kindness or in my case let's call it dumbness but neither one of them were there for me when I needed them.  Hint - neither one of them are on Face Book. Oh and I know there are lots others out there that will take advantage of people and shame on them.  I hope to be able to trust again.  I am working on this but I am afraid that even if I find love again that I may never fully trust them. Does that make me a bad person?  Does that mean I should stay away from love?   Life can be so lonely and confusing sometimes.  I know I need to move forward and not back.  I can't be with my ex boyfriend. He can't provide for himself let alone me too.  I am not a gold digger but I can't pay my bills and his and neither of us have our own place.  I should have never started dating him.  Just because we have been friends since HS and he wanted to date me back then didn't mean that we could make it work.  He confuses me and tells me he still loves me.  I still love him too but love doesn't pay the bills.  I used to think my family didn't like him because he is black.  Maybe that is part of the reason but I know it really is because I was paying his bills and paying for most of the things we did and we used my car to go places.  OK he didn't have descent vehicle.  I got to move on from him.  Judy tells me when I find someone I will be able too but what if I don't want to find anyone else. 

Peace and love to all,
Linda